Maybe this Christmas" Ron Sexsmith.

National Day is three days away.
I sang the National Day songs today in school.
Haha.
Ok, and there was a Memorial Service for Mr. Quah.
It was really sweet. I almost cried, but I remained strong.

The Notebook was good.
It was like a classic love story, set in the 1950s.
So it had war, stuff like that.
I almost cried. It was really really touching.
It was definitely not by the music of the movie.
It was by the words of the script, and the good acting of the actors'.
By the way,
I really think Ryan Gosling is cute.
Literally. He has a baby face, with good muscles(That's hot).

Went with my sister and her boyfriend to eat sushi at Sakae today.
I was just so darn full.
I like the desserts there.
When I eat them, they taste like scented things.
Which is really cool, because I hardly have any desserts that have such a beautiful taste like that before.

Went MPH(Duh).
Melissa is such a sad person now, because she couldnt find The Vampire Lestat.
Haha. Well, it's really really sad, because I can understand how it feels to yearn for a book and unable to find it.
It was just like The Bell Jar, because I was "dying" for the book, and I couldnt find it anywhere. Literally almost anywhere.
Borders didnt have it, neither did Times or Sans.
Thank God Kinokuniya got it.
And I had a rather easy time finding it with Jillene.

Anyway, MPH was having a pre-national Day sale, so it's having this 20% storewide discount sort of thing.
So I just had to get something.
It was more like, I couldnt leave the place without a new book.
So I got Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
It's my first time reading a Shakespeare play.
Boy was it hard. But I'm really willing to try and understand it.
At least I hope I have the determination to.
The language was just hard.
But perhaps if I read each page at least five times, I'll probably understand.
Probably.
It's a 90 page book by the way.

I'm giving myself a break from History and other homework.
=x

Spoken 9:26 PM .

Cry" Mandy Moore.

My hamster is like sleeping in this cardboard box which we put her into whenever we clean her house.
It seems like she's addicted to her new "home".
She's created like nests outside where she can sleep in.
I think she hates being locked up at home.

Rachel's guppy just gave birth yesterday.
I think it's yesterday?
I remembered I was so damn tired, hanging around in the crowded small hall,
My eyes were glazed(Thats how I look when I'm tired, all the time).
And Rachel came with this weird happy expression on her face, and saying,
"Hey, my guppy just gave birth to 20 babies".
It was hard not to be excited with her.
So later, I was just harping on about how adorable they'll be.
Tiny little fishes.
Brown, since they're still young.
Rachel said she is a grandmother.
So I said I wanted to be the grandauntie, with Phoenix.

Haha, those they're like my niece and nephews.
I came up with names for them today.
Rachel wanted one to be called Natalie.
Since she almost was called Natalie when she was a baby.
(I cant imagine if she is called Natalie).
And I wanted one to be called Ana. Hahahah, I'm obssessed with that name.
Because it's three alphabets.
Short, and really sweet.
Amanda wanted one to be called Johnny(As in Johnny Depp).

Then, Melissa came up with this cute idea of giving them vampire names from Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles books.
And I insisted on calling one Armand(As in Vampire Armand?),
I so in "love" with Armand.
His character is so intense, so passionate, and so full of maturity though he supposedly looks young in the story.
And I think he'll be handsome.
My favourite baby guppy will probably be called Claudia.
Hahaha. Melissa says they'll probably all be little vampire fishes.
Isnt that such a hilarious idea?

Those Cristiano Ronaldo fan.
This website is beautiful.
www.cristiano-ronaldo.com
and www.cristiano-ronaldo.org
He's is so hot, and still 19.

It's weird, I'm listening to Cry by Mandy Moore.
It reminded me of A Walk to Remember.
I loved that movie.
It was one of the sweetest, meaningful movie written by Nicholas Sparks.
Like I say, I didnt like his stuff, but A Walk to Remember was beautifully done.

I'm just so in the mood for all these sorts of romantic stuff.
(I'm done with The Bell Jar by the way. It's a really good book).
I was telling Phoenix online yesterday, that I was really scared I wouldnt find a boyfriend.
I dont want to end it all alone.
It's sad if I cant experience "love".
It's weird if I dont kiss, hug and makeout with guys, like normal teenagers.
In the future, I wish I can be someone who loves me and vice versa, but I dont want to get married.
It's just such a contradiction on my part.
Marriage is such a scary word.

I'm happy. I feel a little relax.
Because theres no lessons tomorrow.

Spoken 9:10 PM .

I'm getting sadder, and sadder every day.
And really really tired.
Because I hardly get a good night's sleep.
I take a long time to finally get lost into my dreams.
I've got friends asking me am I okay?
Which of course, technically I'm fine. Duh.
I have a home, I have food. I have beautiful loving parents.
I have money.
I cant see why am I not happy?

I'm trying to see that the world is beautiful.
But it's really not.

But actually.
I really am fine.

It must be the depressing book I'm reading.
The Bell Jar talks about the life of Esther Greenwood, who descends into insanity.
She sees that the world is superficial and ugly.
(The book is really good).

I swear I'm going to get a happier book after this one.
Okay so I might be getting Emma or The Great Gatsby.
Both talks about love.
So I think it's more cheerful, and funny.

I really think Adrien Brody is hot.
In a charismatic sort of way.
And I do really want to watch The Village.
But I'm scared.
I believe that people have different sorts of fear.
Like the fact that almost everybody I know are terrified of cockroaches.
But I find cockroaches arent that scary.
Lizards are the worst.
Why cant my friends understand that I'm scared of things different from them?
I could remember when I was a kid, I had to take a sort of Chinese medicine to calm myself down after a ghost related movie.
After I watched The Ring, I had a mild fever. I think it's because I was too terrified.

I got 31 out of 40 for my English Orals.
"It's nothing fabulous".
I got a Physics test tomorrow.
I think I'm going to flunk the test, because I could not understand about radioactivity.
It's too complex.

The handsome guy from The Princess Diaries.
Dark haired prince looking sort of guy?
He's actually a cousin of Sofia Coppola's, and the nephew of Francis Ford Coppola's.
It's amazing really.
Because the Coppola clan(as they call it) is just full of talent, and most of them are entertainers.
Besides, he really is in a band.

I think I'll learn a third language. French.
It's really interesting.
And the way they speak fluent French makes it sophisticated.
If I get into a University, I think I'll take..
Literature.
History(Might not because I still didnt like Southeast Asia history).
Philosophy.
Maybe, just maybe, Political Science.
Oh and English(I know my English sucks, but I really want to be good in it).

=)

Spoken 6:26 PM .

It was weird.
Monday's atmosphere was dreary.
It was cold.
Wet (Raining).
The hall was almost like a saddening place,
Though filled with all those laughters of many(Including mine) while watching The Princess Diaries with the whole school, it was just so obvious that almost all of the students knew something was terribly wrong.

Monday was really really different.
Because I could still smell the Eversoft shower cream I used in the morning when I bathe on my skin.
I felt really clean.

Anyway,
I'm sure all of us prayed.
I did.
I just really hope his wife pulls herself together and move on with her life.

Today;
We were showed a tape of a person giving birth during Bio.
It was weird. I was screaming with the rest of the class(Not exactly screaming, just a shrill sort of voice).
Oh right, it was freaky.
I know. I know thats how I came about in the first place.
I just cant imagine a human head coming out of my area.
The worst was the abortion tape he showed us.
Okay so I was reading my book, like Rachel Kee, (because he said we could not watch if we do not want to), I did take a little peek once in a while.
The woman's legs were up. And it was vibrating in a weird sort of manner when they used the scissors.
So I was just asking, "Why is her legs moving?"
And Amanda gave me an obvious answer, "Because she's scared."

I'm pretty scared of giving birth.
But I guess I'll do it next time if I have to.
I'm considering adopting a kid. Because there's a million orphans out there wanting the love of parents. Maybe I should adopt one and give her all the love I can?
I'll call her Ana.
Haha. And I'll change the name less than a month later.
Theres something about teenage girls.
We're too fickle.

By the way,
I still think Cristiano Ronaldo is hot.
(The Notebook and The Village is out this week)
;)

Spoken 9:23 PM .